nothing really matters anymore. i have spent the last 8 months trying to patch things up, only to have it dismantled all over again.

nothing left.

so we're moving. this january. to vegas.

i have a lot to say, obviously. but the question is, do i have a say in the whole thing? i cannot contest the need to relocate, its urgency, its benefits to my entire family; i only have my silly emotional attachments, my petty reluctance to change.

it is true that i haven't quite recovered yet from the impact that migrating here has made. i miss my family and friends, and i still think of richard sometimes. it pains me to think i'm going to start all over again, considering i have made good friends here already, have gotten close to family here already..

haay. no amount of the strip's neon lights could ever brighten up that dark thought.

i just hope to God i go to school there as a junior.