i have journalism now! and study hall at 6th period! so it's like a double-lunch thing. yey!

so busy. but i kinda like it. :p




goodbye. i'm throwing all that we had in the niagara falls.




i wrote a poem yesterday. after several weeks (months) of scattered thoughts and what seems to be writer's block, i finally managed to put some words together. hopefully there will be more. it's amazing what a moment of solitude can do to someone. well, a moment of solitude away from home. yea, i am in canada right now with my family for the processing of our visas and stuff. it's our second day here, and we're staying with relatives in their beautiful, beautiful home. too bad we cant use the pool..it is freakin cold in here. gawrsh.

we headed for the mall after we were done with the embassy, but strangely enough, i didnt feel like shopping. oh well. no sales anyway. lol. besides my shoes were killing me. well, they were actually my mom's..apparently she doesnt consider comfort as a big factor when buying shoes. so yea..walking from one store to another was like a chore, and the band-aids i bought from the dollar store to ease my pain only had the peelings in it(the white stuff you peel that covers the adhesive). in short, i was ripped off. well, my dad was. poor him. so there. *shrug*

its so easy to forget that today is actually a school day and so easy to think that we're on vacation. i mean, c'mon, we're going to niagara falls tomorrow night! i am so struggling with my homework right now. i am such a crammer. agh. i can't think of ideas for my english speech. and my columbus paper. wudemigunnadoo? i still have to check hwnow.com for my math stuff. whine. well, i might as well do that now so there's room to frolic later. haha.

bounce off. :)




thank goodness i had a chance to talk to rj today. i finally had a chance to let out what was inside of me. well, my problem isn't solved yet, but hey, at least someone listened to me and actually didnt judge me.

we pinkyswore. so i don't have to worry about the whole school knowing about my secret the next day. i hope.

*sigh* anywaaay. i was in a daze the whole day. i still can't swallow, and i had a cup of pudding for lunch. that even hurt, too. what the hell is wrong with me?

my algebra2 teacher gave out a quiz today, and i could've sworn he got the anwers in the multiple choice wrong.. because i couldn't find the right answer there. he kept insisting and insisting that "the answer's there", but i could only say so much because i didnt want to cause a commotion in the classroom. chances are i really was just in a daze, but we'll find out soon. =T

it was picture day today..and i can't remember if i smiled or scowled at the camera, because as soon as i sat down, the flash went off immediately. too bad.

argh..it's only tuesday. the week's sure going slow this time. maybe it's because i can't swallow. or because there's something about the atmosphere of the school that depresses me. hmm.

i have to go to the doctor now. :(




bears lost to the birds 15-31!

aww.




just killing time before we head off to church. i am still having swallowing problems. is it really possible for a small blue pill to get stuck somewhere between your esophagus? it's like i'm gonna die everytime i swallow food, and there's a constricting pain everytime i burp. the heck. it frightens me to think of how they might remove that stuck pill, if there's any. i mean, i've been chugging down water for the past 3 days, and it's still there.. i'm thinking of a tube-like instrument being wedged down my throat... *cringes*

gotta go! :T




how can i not feel this way and still talk to you?




it was my first day in school last wednesday. hmm..it was fine, really, except that i'm still holding a grudge at the administration for placing me in those freakin SRA classes. i mean, i know i'm not the smartest person on earth, but c'mon, i know how to convert a percent into a decimal. i swear i do.

i can't wait til i finally switch to choir in may. sigh.

i do like the fact that it's like i'm starting on a new slate..new neighborhood, new school, new friends.. you get the picture. lol. it will hopefully free me of the unnecessary baggage that i'm carrying, and eventually help me, well, forget them.

anywaaay..today was like the first day of regular classes. i especially liked my english class..we talked about early american literature, and i have to admit that for the first time, i'm feeling pretty grateful for having learned most of it already when i was in pcst. although it can get kinda boring in class, it mostly feels great when you really know what the teacher's talking about. besides, it's all about mastery. lol. ;)

as for chemistry, well, our teacher finally showed up after 2 days of absence (to think she wore a tank top in class). she said she attended a hearing (of some other person..) the other day, and attended her uncle's wake the next. she said she learned some important stuff in that hearing, like if police stop your car and find alcohol and/or drugs in it, even if you say it's not yours, you will have to pay a fine of $500 and have your license confiscated for 2 years. stuff like that. so..she concluded her talk by giving us advice: "i don't care if you smoke pot, just don't smoke it in your car". in dark alleys, maybe?

sigh.. even though the year 2006 sucks so far, i'm still pretty determined to make things better. unless of course i die of hypothermia in december.

i talked to a couple of friends back home this afternoon. what the hell is up with them always asking me if i'm seeing someone yet? lol. and what's funnier is, they dont believe me when i say i'm not seeing anyone. i mean, no one worth mentioning at least. haha.

and screw it, i know i'm not ready yet.

that's all i'm going to allow myself to write when it comes to that. haha. i'm still mad at myself for accidentally crossing out the window where stephen sent me pictures of tagaytay. good times. jose, i'm still sorry to know you guys had to hitchhike to alabang. lol

i'm too sleepy to go on..i better turn in before this entry becomes more random.


...shame on my teacher who mispronounced my last name as MANGO!!! >:(